I realize things very slowly, it takes a while for me to process big changes in life. I’ve never cried at any graduation, high school, university or hyper, never a single tear. Crying is just not how I react and deal with things. But today it hit me and I feel like a roadkill. It’s over now. It’s Maureen’s last day in Sweden and I’m not going to get another text at five PM after a night out together saying ‘So, I’ve just worn my shirt inside out in public the whole day, the struggle is real’.
I think about all of the messages I’ve got throughout the year with a mixture of serious stomach cramps from laughing to hard and cramps for missing the shit out of our time together. It’s not going to be the same anymore. I will not even speak the same language anymore. Everything that was is gone and all that is left is unknown.
I read somewhere a while back that the age of 20-something is the age of not knowing. Not knowing what you want, where to work, where to live and who to live with. I felt like a cliché after I read it, because it’s me. I know nothing (just like Jon Snow). All I know is that I have a lot of new amazing friends, and I’m so glad for that.
It’s raining while I’m writing this. When I hear the rain patter on my window I hear Maureen saying how it’s smells like Seattle when it’s raining here in Sweden during the summer (and Rikke sarcastically comment in the background that ‘this is how summer rain smells in the entire world…’ with her eyes rolling and me bursting into laughter). I’m going to miss that. I’m going to miss us. But I will always think of that and our time here when I feel the scent of summer rain.